a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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