Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
