Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
