did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize