so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize