I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
