please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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