a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Everything about him screamed your future.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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