Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize