I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
