The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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