is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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