I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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