i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize