Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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