So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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