Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
