I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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