Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
