its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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