She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want nice things and good sex
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
