so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
