so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize