my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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