Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
