that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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