marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
