In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
ttyl tear gas
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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