I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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