i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
