in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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