i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
