onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
