from now on my penis is your penis
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize