oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
