: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
