That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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