you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
