How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
