If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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