school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
