if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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