About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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