I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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