Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize