is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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