We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
