More tranny stories later!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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