I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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