Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
