I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
