Fuck appropriateness.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize