She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize