I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
