But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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