To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
