i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
